


Cruel and Beautiful

by ephemeralem0tions



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Beautiful, Day 6, F/M, Fanfiction, Grief, LeviHan Week, Levihan Week 2017, Miscarriage, aot - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, cruel - Freeform, levihan - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, snk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:35:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralem0tions/pseuds/ephemeralem0tions
Summary: Bright lights and beeping, these are the only things she could remember before and after the darkness. On that day the recieved a grim reminder, that the world is both cruel and beautiful.Levihan week day 6 - Grief





	Cruel and Beautiful

A bright light, that was what all her doe eyes could see before and after the darkness. She couldn’t remember what happened recently except for the light and the noise. The small faint and steady beeps that filled the room which she remembered to be much louder before her slumber.

She squinted her eyes and tried to adjust to the light only to be greeted by complete darkness on her left eye, and blurred vision on the other. It was natural for her to have such of eyesight, but the loss of vision on the left made her fingers touch the area only to be greeted by bandages that seemed to have been wrapped around her head.

Although blind, she was able to see the unfamiliar sky blue walls that surrounded her, as well as the needle that impaled her right hand, connected to a slim tube that lead to clear fluid. The beeping now clearly came from a monitor a few centimeters away from the metal bed where she laid. The smell of rubbing alcohol slowly entering her nostrils and making her aware of her surroundings, she was in a hospital.

As if she was stabbed on her chest, the pain suddenly dawned to her, she was hit by a car on an accident. She now remembered the loud horn that blared upon her and the bright light that met her wide eyes, this was all the product of a vehicle bumping her square on the side of her stomach. She now remembered flying almost a meter away from the sidewalk where she thought she could safely walk. She now remembered the child that she expected to have in two weeks.

Her hand drifted right away from her face to her stomach where she hoped, she would feel a kick, or at least a sign that the child would still be alive.

Her hands trembled, continuing to search for a sign of life, even just a small heartbeat would be enough for her. Tears started to stream down her face as she hurriedly removed the IV from her hand and tried to get up from the bed.

Her palms soon hit the floor as she stumbled down, cries becoming audible each moment. She needed to know her baby was okay, she needed to know their baby was okay.

She was on her way to surprise Levi about the results of her final check up. The doctor had told her that the baby would already be out in two weeks. Although it was hard to walk, she couldn’t contain her excitement and decided to take a stroll towards the cafe that her husband owned. It was just two blocks away from the flat they owned, yet she didn’t know that even the side walk could not bring her to safety as a black sedan hit her and drove away while she was left, all alone and bleeding on the side of the street.

She needed some air, she wanted to breathe as it slowly became harder for her when her sobs choked her. She slowly heaved herself up and walked to the window before opening it to be greeted by the soft blowing wind of the nights of September.

There, her heart broke even further, hands directing to her mouth to muffle the sobs that escaped her lips. Although her vision was at worst shape, she didn’t need anything else to recognize her husband who stood screaming in the wide open parking in front of her.

She saw him trash the small pink baby carrier they had installed in the backseat a month ago. She saw him grieve as he pulled his hair in frustration while he screamed furiously into thin air. She knew right away that their child did indeed not survive the unfortunate accident.

She blamed herself. If she did not go out that day, then Isabelle would’ve been born a few weeks later. If only she waited for Levi at home, then he wouldn’t have been hurting like that. He already had a fair share of deaths starting from his mother, sister, and best friend. She only added to his misery and she blamed herself for being impatient and un-calm like always. She started to think that maybe, she didn’t deserve to live at all.

“Hanji!” Her head whipped to the direction where she was called to find the eyes of her dear friend Nanaba. “What on earth do you think you are doing?!” She scolded her as she rushed to her side.

“I killed her didn’t I?” Warm tears started streaming her cheeks again as her friend lead her to sit back down on the bed.

“Nobody wanted it to happen” Nanaba tried to calm her down.

“I saw Levi” she continued to cry. “It hurts Nanaba. He was so happy to find out that we were going to have a child. He named her right away, fixed her room right away, and bought everything for her. She was going to be spoiled by him. But I saw him rip the baby carrier apart outside. He was so upset and broken. It’s my fault”

“Don’t blame yourself” Nanaba whispered. “I’m sure you’re equally hurt as he is”

“I’d better just die-” she was cut of by the loud opening of the door and a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around her.

“You know I’m not good with words, but if you die, everything would be much shittier for me” everything seemed to have stopped in front of her. She held unto him and cried on his shoulder like there was no tomorrow. “The world is cruel… But it is beautiful because you are here”

**Author's Note:**

> A submission for Levihan week day 6 prompt - Grief. Posted a bit late in the archive since some personal things came up, but I hope everyone likes it.


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